home for the holidays...

There is nothing better than the holidays and spending it with the people you love.  It is an extra bonus when you can enjoy your home town and the great outdoors!  That is exactly what we did over our time off over the holidays...

We decided to drive, which we were excited about because we have a new car!  Sirius, extra room for Chewy and all our stuff, an amazing audio book, and a comfortable ride was all we needed to get started on our road adventure.  We were delayed by a day due to some weather in Denver, but were able to leave with no problems the next day.  We drove straight through (over 15 hours) and arrived in time for yummy comfort food, good conversation, and of course a glass of wine!

To say that our time in my home town, Frazee, MN, was relaxing is an understatement.  Every morning, we woke up in a dark, cozy, chilly room and made our way upstairs to join the living.  Most days we stayed in our pajamas until lunch just chilling with the dogs, my mom, and Howie.  When we felt ready, we dressed in our warmest gear and ventured outside. 

Andy enjoyed driving the bobcat, feeding the cows, using a chain saw, and generally playing the role of a farmer. I rode horse every other day, went four-wheeling, and took in the fresh, farm air.  Many of you may be thinking, "Fresh and farm don't usually go together," but I beg to differ!  After growing up on a farm, I find myself missing that smell of leather, hay, cow manure, crisp air, and gasoline mixed together. 

That farm fresh air is the little thing that I will remember about my winter break vacation in my home town.  Whenever I get sad and miss my family, I will close my eyes and bring that scent to my nose for a reminder that the farm still holds my heart.  

here we go...

And so it begins...my first blog.  I know I am one of many to go down this path, but I hope to entertain those I know and strangers who happen upon my words.  I have been pushed in this direction by many dear friends and have decided to finally take the plunge and join the blogosphere world!  

Things you will encounter when you dive into my world: 

• Andy and I's travel adventures
• Day-to-day happenings in the lives of the Groettums
• Trials, tribulations, and joyous events for us
• Funny and ridiculous students stories from the trenches
• much, much more!

I only ask that you be patient with my clumsiness and kind with your feedback.  Enjoy!

Chapter 6: Pursuit of Happiness

Chapter 6: Pursuit of Happiness

(a message from my father, the officiant at our wedding)

Happiness is not a mystery to be solved or a secret to be revealed. It may be a journey but it is a very ,very short journey because you don’t have to go anywhere but inside your own mind. In the short term you could call happiness your personal reward for successful internal negotiation. That’s correct- you negotiate happiness with yourself. Keep in mind this is short term happiness. It means if I meet these personal criteria I will be happy. If I get this new job, if I get this new car, if I lose this weight, blah, blah, blah. These are personal assumptions about achieving happiness and are often wrong. Hence we have disillusioned career choices, broken hearted relationships and mid-life crisis. Many of these assumptions are perceptions of others regarding what SHOULD make us happy but they have little relevance to what actually DOES make us happy. 

In many cases what has happened is that your mind’s criteria for happiness has been shaped by others and/or marketing agencies. This criteria is directly related to things you can NOT control. If you can’t control it why would you give up the right to happiness to someone or something else? This defies logic. It makes much more sense to keep control of your ability to be happy. 

This is much simpler than it sounds.  True happiness is a state of mind. You can think yourself into happiness just like you can think yourself into fear or anger or jealousy. The common thread here is YOU. If you are happy you have the ability to help someone else be happy. You can not MAKE someone happy. You can only help them FEEL happy. You can only do this in the long term by loving yourself in the truest sense. How do you do this? 

Be passionate about your life and your relationship. Studies show that people who are happy are spending time doing things they  are passionate about. It is not important what they are doing or what they achieve. It is only important that they love what they are doing. They are happy.  

I have seen in you two the ability to be passionate about life, about love and you should be just as passionate about the pursuit of happiness. That pursuit is sheathed in your love for each other. Don’t ever forget how to express your love. Don’t get caught up in judgments ,opinions and reasoning to the point that you forget to be passionate about life together. The power to be happy is within each of you and it is under your control. Share that power with each other and be forever happy. 

Chapter 5: Love - A & L

Chapter 5: Love - A & L

(as told by both of us)

We’ve only been a couple since 2004, but we’ve known each other since the fall of 1999. It was at the new student weekend retreat at the University of Minnesota when we met for the very first time. We spent our freshman year nurturing a great friendship, but the time when things really came together was when we began working together during our sophomore year.

Lindsey got Andy a job at a New York style pizza shop called Taste of Manhattan on campus at the U of M. It wasn’t the most difficult of work, so there were plenty of times to stand around and chat, laugh, and do the Daily’s crossword puzzles. Having each other around made cutting pizzas, making gyros, and eating pizza every day (for every meal) a great time.

Before and after the lunch rush, we realized that we had a ton in common. For one, we each shared a passion for Golden Gophers football. Neither one of us could out-do the other with the amount of games we had been to, the players we remembered, or how obsessed members of our family were (yes, that’s you John and Trol.) We listened to the same music, watched the same movies, and had some of the same skeletons in our closets. Our bosses, without ever really telling us, began to notice that there was a little more to our friendship than we even knew at the time.

Our time at Taste of Manhattan quickly became our favorite time of the day. We made sure we had the same shifts, and Lindsey would always be the first one to volunteer to go with Andy if he had to make a delivery. Every now and then on a Friday morning, Andy would make sure the shop was running smoothly while Lindsey nursed a headache downstairs at the restaurant. Each day would start out with cheese pizza for breakfast.  Andy would cut it into little pieces so that we could eat it as we prepared to open shop.  Then, we would catch up on what was new while making subs and cutting pizzas for the day.  The best part of the day was when we would take our lunch breaks while working on the MN Daily crossword together. Then, Andy would always wait for me to finish my shift and walk me home.  Although probably obvious to others, this time was spent as the best of friends and two people enjoying each others’ company. 

Our story obviously didn’t end there. We continued to cherish our friendship, and even after we quit the restaurant, we always tried our best to make time for one another. We even sat next to one another on the day of our graduation from the University of Minnesota in 2003.

In 2004, Lindsey moved to Colorado, and within a few months it became obvious that we had missed our chance to be with one another. We talked more and more on the phone, but there was always the unspoken reality that as much as we may want to be with the other, hundreds of miles separated us. After an unsuccessful attempt at meeting in Nashville for the Music City Bowl, Andy flew out to Denver and spent New Years Eve with Lindsey. We were holding hands before we even made it out of the airport.

That weekend affirmed everything we were afraid and thrilled over: we were in love. We both remember the tears streaming down our faces before Andy left for the airport after that weekend. We had no idea what to do, and neither one of us was willing to forget about the other. It probably would have been emotionally easier (and way, way cheaper) had we just said goodbye and went our separate ways, but instead we immediately started planning for the future. The second Andy’s plane landed in Minneapolis, we started making plans for the next time we’d see one another.

Over the next 6 months, we never went more than 2 weeks without seeing each other. Lindsey came to Minneapolis, Andy flew to Denver, and we learned long distance relationship issues as they came to us. That time apart strengthened our ability to communicate even when we didn’t want to, and it helped us learn how to always honor the needs of our partner. Andy finished his contract teaching, partied rather aggressively with his buddies for a few days, and moved out to Denver a few days later. We had never lived with a partner before, we were in a new city, and we really had no idea what we were doing, but we did it.

Our love is something that grew, and that eventually ran wild between the two of us. Sometimes all it takes is admitting what is already obvious, and letting it take you where it wants you to go. Love is such a wonderful, amazing journey, and we look forward to reflecting and refining our love together forever.

Chapter 4: Life - L before A

Chapter 4: Life - L before A

Who I am in a nutshell: a city girl, but a farm girl at heart, an optimist, a lover of people, animals, and learning new things, a traveler, an outdoorswoman, someone who loves spending time with family. Let me tell you how I have become who I am in a little more detail.

I’ve moved many times in my life.  Blaine to Shoreview to Minneapolis to Frazee, back to Minneapolis, and then the biggest move of all to Denver, Colorado.  Each place holds significant events that made me who I am.  Blaine is hard for me to remember as I was just a baby, but I do recall photographs of my mom and dad and I at Breezy Point on vacations, riding in their baby blue Volkswagen bug, and stories of my crazy babysitters.   I am able to remember a little more of my time in Shoreview.  I lived in on a cul de sac with lots of other kids my age, so most time was spent roaming the streets on our bikes, playing Barbie’s on snow days, and lots of outside playing in the summertime.  I started school there and immediately attached myself to our school song (which just happened to be to the same tune as the Minnesota Rouser).  I spent many days/nights singing this song as it was my new favorite (my parents will tell you it was more like yelling)!  From there I went to Minneapolis where my mom and I moved in with Howie.  We lived in the Linden Hills area and it was beautiful!  We would bike to the lakes (Calhoun, Harriet, and Isles), there were plenty of parks to play in, and a tennis court nearby that I could rollerblade on.  This is where I feel like I started to grow up.  I was trusted to stay home alone, I learned how to cook for myself (even though I only ate 5 things at this age), and I started to form some meaningful friendships.  Once I graduated from 6^th grade, I was allowed more independence and was able to take the city bus to Southdale or meet my friends by bike further than I had ever been from home.  I loved being in the city and was crushed when I found out we were moving to Frazee, a small town with only 1,200 people and we would be living on a farm, where I would be far from everyone and everything I knew.  I actually grew to love the farm (after much grumbling) with all of the open space, animals, and new family close by. 

My family has also contributed to the person I have become.  First, my mother.  I grew up trying to be the exact opposite as her (as most kids do).  She was organized, made lists, and was able to design any room.  All of which drove me crazy as a young girl and teenager.  I wanted to be spontaneous, messy, and lacked the skills to pull design concepts together.  I am pretty sure we both drove each other crazy as I grew up because we were so different.  A big event seemed to flip on a switch in me that began to change me; this was when I left Turkey Town USA for my second stint in the big city of Minneapolis for my freshman year at the U of M.  I was stoked to be away from my parents, on my own, and back in the city.  Slowly, being away from home made me realize how much I appreciated my mom and we began to talk on a regular basis every week.  I soon became a planner, an organizer, an interior designer (although never to be as talented as she is), and can see myself one day being a mother.  I still continue to enjoy spontaneity and small messes, but I talk to my mom at least once a day and actually enjoy making a to-do list.  I thank her every day for passing on these important parts that make up who I am today. 

Next is my father.  It should be obvious that he is an integral part of my life as I trusted him enough to marry my Andy and I, but let me tell you a little about how he has shaped me.  From as far back as I can remember, I was definitely a daddy’s girl.  A lot of pictures from my childhood are of me on my dad’s lap or him holding me.  I always liked being around him because there was a feeling of safety and contentment.  As a little girl, I definitely abused this power I had over him by going to him before my mom if I wanted something.  All I had to do for a new cabbage patch kid or pound puppy was bat my eyelashes and stick out my lower lip and we would be on our way to the store.  His love was much more than just material things.  I was always told that I could do anything I put my mind to.  He really meant this and encouraged me to try new things and push myself to be my best.  That was the key though, I should strive to be my best and not compare myself to others’ best.  This has always allowed me to believe in myself and if I have any doubt, all I need to do is think about my dad and know that I should go for it.  Along with his constant support, he has also allowed me to be imperfect and make mistakes.  This was key for me growing up as I made quite a few!  He always helped me through the process of learning from each mistake and growing from the experience.  This was such a valuable lesson to learn that has carried into my adult hood and made me so perfect today (just kidding).  His constant support, unconditional love, and allowance to be imperfect have shaped who I am and how I will raise children of my own someday.

I am thankful for all of the opportunities and challenges I have faced and know that there will be many more in this new journey.  All of my moves and influences from family have helped me get in touch with who I am and learn how to be in a relationship with someone else.  I feel confident that the road ahead will be full of more opportunities, challenges, and possibly moves to new cities and I know they will be much better with my best friend by my side!  

Chapter 3: More Life - A before L

Chapter 3: Life - A before L - Part 2

(according to Andy himself)

          Of the life-changing experiences that have shaped the person who I am today, the years following my sister’s move to college were some of the most influential. Martha enrolled at the University of Wisconsin-Stout in the fall of 1997, and all of a sudden it was just mom, dad, and I at home. I remember the day that we moved her into her dorm and how with each trip from our car to her new room, I felt pieces of a life I knew leaving me. Of course, if you would have told me that while we were loading the car up in Maple Grove, I would have laughed at you. I think I was already planning what I was going to do with all the stuff that she was leaving behind.

          I’m not sure if Martha would agree with this, but within seconds of the two of us not living under the same roof, we realized how much we loved and missed one another. For the first time in my life, I started actually talking to Martha. I loved it when she called from college so that I could tell her about home, and so that I could hear about all the cool things that she was “learning” in school. Sometimes it takes a move or a change for a relationship to blossom, and my sister and I really were never the same once she left. Our visits to the Mystery Machine at Stout, her sneaking me into bars to introduce me to her friends and showing me how to safely handle social situations, and the sister/brother bond we formed over 3 AM conversations are a lot of what formed the foundations of our adult relationship. Martha, you are irreplaceable in my life, and I see more of you in me than anyone, and I’m very proud of that. 

          Martha’s departure for college was my first experience with large-scale change in my life. More than anything, I learned to lean on my mother when things were different. My dad worked so hard at Market Tire and at church, so Mom and I began building a stronger relationship. We started going to movies together, we bonded by talking more about what we thought, and I remember that being the first time I realized that my mom was one of my best friends. She probably remembers me running off with the guys or calling at 2 in the morning to tell her that I was spending the night at Jordy Baker’s house, but I remember grocery shopping together at that terrible Rainbow foods in Brooklyn Park, or laughing while we made up stories about the people driving in the cars next to us. 

Mom, I will never forget those final years that I spent in high school. You were so patient with me, and the quality time that we spent together has shaped me more than you know. You taught me how to laugh at myself and find the humor in the seriousness of the world. Most of all, you taught me that life is too short not be a friendly, positive person. I will always look up to you more than you’ll ever know.

Chapter 2: Life - A before L

Chapter 2: Life - A before L - Part 1

(as told by Andy himself)

In the summer of 1998, my dad asked me to come to work with him. I was out of a job, so I figured that I’d give it a shot until I found something I was good at. After all, my dad started working there when he was 15, and the shop was a second home. Matt, Pete, Dale, Pat, and all the other guys were more like uncles than anything, and it was fun to think that we were soon going to be colleagues. I ended up working there until 2004, and my experience there would end up shaping the way I look at the world around me.

     It sounds simple to understand, but the rules that governed the shop were exactly what I needed to understand how to succeed in the work force. Show up on time. Leave when you say you’re going to close. Always be honest. If there’s something that needs to be done, do it, and if you don’t know how, don’t be afraid to ask the person next to you.

That time in my life will always be marked by the individuals around me. Matt taught me the value of keeping healthy even when I’m busy. Dale taught me that if I ever took myself too seriously, there would be some type of prank waiting to keep me honest. Pat taught me the art of being friendly with the folks you’ve just met, and taking care of the people who you know you’ll see again. Pete taught me the strength of keeping to a solid routine, and knowing when to relax and when to get to it. Chuck taught me the value of having close friends at work, and how to be a learner on the job.

And finally, my father taught me patience. There were plenty of times when I was a smart mouthed kid who thought he knew everything about everything, and my dad would sit there and just listen. Eventually I would figure out that I was wrong, but he never said a thing. My dad was also the guy who would listen to our elderly customers talk about squeaks and wobbles for 20 minutes, but would never show any sign that he had something else to do. My dad would have half-hour conversations with people from El Salvador, Liberia, Eretria, and plenty of other countries and he never grew tired or impatient with their lack of English. He would just keep asking questions, doing crazy hand motions that I can still imitate, and remain calm when most everyone else would throw their hands up and walk away. I know that the skills I learned from watching him are the reason why I can listen to 30 7^th graders from all over the world and be completely comfortable.

 I think about my time in the shop at Market Tire all the time, and I know I would not be the man I am today had it not been for the lessons that those guys taught me. To all of them, wherever they may be today, thank you.