Chapter 3: More Life - A before L

Chapter 3: Life - A before L - Part 2

(according to Andy himself)

          Of the life-changing experiences that have shaped the person who I am today, the years following my sister’s move to college were some of the most influential. Martha enrolled at the University of Wisconsin-Stout in the fall of 1997, and all of a sudden it was just mom, dad, and I at home. I remember the day that we moved her into her dorm and how with each trip from our car to her new room, I felt pieces of a life I knew leaving me. Of course, if you would have told me that while we were loading the car up in Maple Grove, I would have laughed at you. I think I was already planning what I was going to do with all the stuff that she was leaving behind.

          I’m not sure if Martha would agree with this, but within seconds of the two of us not living under the same roof, we realized how much we loved and missed one another. For the first time in my life, I started actually talking to Martha. I loved it when she called from college so that I could tell her about home, and so that I could hear about all the cool things that she was “learning” in school. Sometimes it takes a move or a change for a relationship to blossom, and my sister and I really were never the same once she left. Our visits to the Mystery Machine at Stout, her sneaking me into bars to introduce me to her friends and showing me how to safely handle social situations, and the sister/brother bond we formed over 3 AM conversations are a lot of what formed the foundations of our adult relationship. Martha, you are irreplaceable in my life, and I see more of you in me than anyone, and I’m very proud of that. 

          Martha’s departure for college was my first experience with large-scale change in my life. More than anything, I learned to lean on my mother when things were different. My dad worked so hard at Market Tire and at church, so Mom and I began building a stronger relationship. We started going to movies together, we bonded by talking more about what we thought, and I remember that being the first time I realized that my mom was one of my best friends. She probably remembers me running off with the guys or calling at 2 in the morning to tell her that I was spending the night at Jordy Baker’s house, but I remember grocery shopping together at that terrible Rainbow foods in Brooklyn Park, or laughing while we made up stories about the people driving in the cars next to us. 

Mom, I will never forget those final years that I spent in high school. You were so patient with me, and the quality time that we spent together has shaped me more than you know. You taught me how to laugh at myself and find the humor in the seriousness of the world. Most of all, you taught me that life is too short not be a friendly, positive person. I will always look up to you more than you’ll ever know.