it's the final countdown...

12 days until our due date...it is definitely down to the final countdown.  At this point, we get so many questions from people like, "Are you ready?", or "Are you nervous?"  The questions seem so simple to ask, but are a little more complicated to answer, at least from where I sit.  

Once we hit the 37 week mark, I started to have some mixed feelings that I have been struggling with.

Excitement...

is definitely one of the number one feelings.  Excitement to meet our little boy.  Excitement to not be pregnant any more and get a semi-normal body back.  Excitement to finally be parents.  Excitement to use all of the new baby things we have ready to go in the nursery.  There is so much to look forward to!  

Nervousness...

is a feeling that has sometimes overridden my excitement in these last weeks.  Nervousness about labor and birth.  Nervousness of the recovery afterwards.  Nervousness about being a parent.  Nervousness about knowing what to do.  This feeling has caused a lot of anxiety as of late.    

Scared/Terrified...

has been a feeling that has crept its way in as well.  Scared of the unknown (so many unknowns).  Terrified Scared of the physical pain to come.  Scared to finally get what we have always wanted.  Scared for the same things that I feel excitement for.  This feeling makes me uncomfortable, but is impossible for me to shake.    

Mostly, it feels like we are now in a waiting pattern.  Don't get me wrong, we REALLY appreciated our break from school for a week.  But, I found myself half way through actually wanting to go back to work.  That has NEVER happened before.

I was consumed with my own thoughts (as mentioned above) that never seemed to end.  Even though I was relaxing or working on some to-do list items, I couldn't truly enjoy myself.  At one point, Andy and I looked at each other and didn't have anything to say to each other.  It felt like we were both just ready and waiting for our little guy to arrive and until he does, we are stuck just waiting and staring at each other.  Maybe this is a sign that we are truly ready...I am not sure.    

The thing I have come to realize is that this pregnancy hasn't felt like a normal pregnancy of nine months. Part of me feels like this pregnancy has lasted from the first time we got pregnant and had a miscarriage (October 2011) until now.  It has sometimes felt like it has lasted an eternity.  Please don't misunderstand me, I have loved being pregnant for the most part, but I am truly ready for it to be over now.  I am ready to move on from this phase to the next despite all of my feelings of trepidation currently.

I know that all of these feelings will slip quickly into the past when our little guy is in my arms (I hope).  I also have a feeling that, somehow, we will know what to do and the things we don't, we will figure out together in our own time.  We have prepared ourselves as best we can and now it is out of our hands.  We need to trust that everything is going to be OK and happen as it will.  There is a sweet and precious little thing waiting for us at the end of this long journey and at the end of the day, the only thing we feel is thrilled to meet him and let him fill our hearts.          

book updates...

We are in the final countdown over here and have enjoyed a week off of school to check some of those pesky last minute to-dos off of our never ending list.  But, I have also taken some time to relax and enjoy some reading.  I am trying to include a healthy mix of books, some teaching me how to raise this human inside of me and also  some that are literature from my book club and reads just for fun.  

Our book club decided to dive into the classics this round and instead of all of us reading the same book, we each get to choose one to read and then we will discuss them when we next get together.  I am a HUGE fan of this plan and decided to read more of a current classic...

I just finished and am a big fan!  From the author's personal story to the lovable main character, this book is a must read.  It is not as daunting or confusing as some other classics can be and really has a simple message for everyone to find their life's dream and follow it.  There are other hidden messages and themes, but I will leave those to your interpretation once you pick it up and read it for yourself!

This is another one I read for fun recently and I picked it up because of all the buzz around it.  

  

Also, if you have not read this book, you need to pick it up immediately!  I don't normally read nonfiction, but this book had me from Page #1 and I was completely fascinated with the story.   

In the genre of raising a human, these are my go-tos right now.  I definitely have to read them in shifts as some of the information has proven to be way too overwhelming if I let it.  

Here's hoping that my love and time for reading doesn't cease once our little one is born.  Reading will forever be a past time that I strive to have time for and pass on to our little man.  Only two more weeks!   

i'm famous (sort of)...

In my little blogging world, the following is a big deal!  

A friend from high school interviewed me for an article on blogging for a local magazine that she writes for and I wanted to share it with you all.  

Check it out:  http://villagefamilymag.org/2012/09/27/starting-a-family-blog/

Blogging has helped me in so many ways and it is a little thing that makes me smile daily, if not multiple times a day.  Whether it is reading the many blogs that I have come to follow or writing my own post that I am excited to share with others or writing those tough posts that always are instant therapy for me, blogging has healed me, made me more confident, and helped me express myself in a way that I never knew was possible.  It is a staple in my life now and it is a good feeling to be able to share what I have to say with others and encourage others to take a similar route.   

a few teaching moments recently...

Sometimes as a teacher, the bright and shiny moments are few and far between, but other times, they come in threes...

Recently, I have been feeling a little burnt out, especially anticipating my long absence that seems to be sneaking up on me.  These recent special teaching moments have made me be more present and in the moment with my students as I have come to realize that I am going to miss them - don't read that wrong, I will not miss the paperwork, the lesson planning, the meetings, or some of the adults in my building, but I will miss their smiling faces, their voices, their funny stories, and their genuine concern for my family at this time.

Good things can sometimes come in threes...  

#1: One of my favorite students this year came into class a little late one day and just when I was about to let myself get angry with him, he handed me a hand-drawn picture and said that he drew it for me {as he added a few last minute touches while I was trying to start class}.  My annoyance still lingering, but definitely waning, I thanked him and was ready to continue with the beginning of my lesson as I glanced down at the picture...

Yeah, I didn't get it at first either.  He went on to explain that it was Mr. Groettum and I with an angel watching over us {I am hoping that you see the fact that we are aliens, me a pregnant alien, and I think we are both cyclopes as well}.  

My heart instantly melted and I felt an overwhelming urge to give him a hug.  Did he somehow know all that we have been through?  Could he sense my worry that I try so hard to bury deep inside of me?  It was a simple gesture on his part, but has meant so much to me.  It is a little symbol that a.) my students actually care about me and my family, and b.) everything is going to be ok.

#2:  I tried something new to begin this school year and dove into a pretty elaborate (at least for my students) writing project.  I read House on Mango Street, focusing on figuring out the character's identity.  Then, we wrote our own vignettes {if you haven't read the book, it is a series of short vignettes that all weave together to tell a story about Esperanza, a teenage girl living in a semi-bad neighborhood in Chicago}which were to tell stories about our own identity and they had to emulate the kind of writing that Sandra Cisneros did in the book {things like using similes to describe events, inserting Spanish for important words, etc}. 

Once I got into the project, there was no turning back.  Writing has always been a little stressful for me as a teacher of special education students.  There are so many things to help the students with that it can be a really daunting and overwhelming task.  I was pleasantly surprised though and they knocked this project out of the park!  All of them improved from their first piece to their second, really experimented with aspects of our mentor text, and told very personal stories that were super interesting!  

I was and am still so proud that I just had to make a display, which is something I rarely do {I am secretly proud of my display as well, but that is kind of embarrassing to admit}.  

Sometimes your students can surprise you with their skills and motivation.  And sometimes as a teacher you can actually look at something you did and honestly tell yourself that you had something to do with their success.  These two little things make teaching worth every minute, even the hard minutes.    

#3: One of Andy's former students that we have kept in touch with over the years came over for dinner last night.  Before she arrived, we did some last minute cleaning and grocery shopping for the evening.  I started to sense that we were both a little nervous, which was pretty comical.  We know what to do to have other adults our age or even little kids to entertain at our house, but having a college student over was something new to us.  We found ourselves worrying about what music to have on so that we didn't seem super old and dorky, but also didn't seem like we were trying too hard.  

We finally relaxed once she arrived and easily slid into great conversation.  She filled us in on her life lately and with every word, she impressed us.  I'm pretty sure I couldn't have sat with one of my former teachers like that when I was 19 years old and held my own like she did.  She is one teenager that has her head screwed  on straight looking forward with a plan for her future.  She has got it together, I tell you!  

The purpose of her visit was a project she had to do for her college English class.  She was charged with interviewing someone who has the job that she wants to have one day.  She got a double interview with two teachers in the house!  She had great questions about the teaching profession and took all of our advice and answers in stride {and still wants to be a teacher}!   

We had a fabulous evening with her and what's funny is I think she had fun with us as well.  I am so thankful that I know such an amazing woman and the relationship we have with her is a little thing that we both cherish so much.    

babymoon (in pictures)...

There were so many little things that made this weekend amazing and exactly what we needed. It is hard for me to find words to express it all, so I will leave you with our pictures and a few captions to fill you in on our babymoon, a.k.a. the last hoorah as just Andy and Lindsey as individuals, or just husband and wife.

{Little things from the weekend - fuzzy robes, golden aspen leaves, rides in Escalades, faux marble knife, the scent of lavender, patio heaters, piano music, fireplace, wedding day reminiscing, mountain peaks, crunching leaves, chapel bells}

   

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if you need us...

If you need us this weekend, we are busy.  Our phones will be off.  We will be in deep relaxation/romantic mode...just the two of us!  

  We are heading to Beaver Creek, CO celebrating our babymoon.  What is a babymoon you may ask?  Well, it is a special trip that a couple takes before their baby arrives in order to relax and have special quality time before that time is harder to come by.  

{for more history and information on a babymoon, you can go here}  

We will be staying at the Osprey Hotel, which the Today Show just put on the world's best hotels list! You will find us reading, enjoying the fall leaves, and ultimately relaxing.  

We will be spending time at the Allegria Spa in their water therapy pools, getting a massage and body scrub, and hanging out in the fitness center.  

We will also indulge ourselves in what will probably be the most fancy meal we ever eat at Splendido.

{check out their menu here} 

Anyways, that is where we will be this weekend...don't be jealous!

baby shower - german style...

Andy and I are surrounded by some amazing people in Denver who we feel so lucky to call our friends. This past weekend, we got a chance to celebrate with all of them and were definitely showered with their love. There is no shortage of support for us and our new little one.

The party was hosted by the wonderful couples, Derek and Kathy Fessler & Hayley and Kyle Schneider. They worked their butts off to make the event super special and unique to us!

As guests arrived, they were welcomed to a large, beautiful backyard. It was filled with many different venues to make guests feel comfortable...a firepit with hay bails for chairs, a lounging area with snacks to munch on, a bar area with a fabulous young server who was always ready to fill your glass or give you a pretzel necklace.

Smoke filled the air as the celebratory cigars were passed around and guests were able to take part in a guessing game for when Gizmo will arrive. It was soon time to eat and the food was FABULOUS and it all went along with the German theme! From big, doughy pretzels to assorted cheeses and salami to the-best-brats-you-will-ever-eat to potato salad, it was all super yummy! There were even smores around the fire as the evening turned dark!

 

It is so special for us to have so many people in Denver that care about us and already care so much about our baby boy. We feel so fortunate to have all of this support and feel so loved. A little thing happened in Denver at our amazing German themed baby shower, we started to feel like parents and gained a surge of confidence with all of our friends behind us ready to catch us if when we falter throughout this journey.

 

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